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Acceptance, forgiveness, and moving on. |
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Filed: Thursday, September 17, 2009 at 4:13:00 PM
Filed Under: Mariposa Rayna, a lost friend
Acceptance, forgiveness, and moving on.
If you've been following this thread, you know that I've been detailing the history of my friendship and subsequent falling out with Mariposa Rayna. Along the way, the tone changed from a disinterested "clinical" view to what could almost be construed as a verbal attack on her character.

Well, I've had a change of heart as to the resolution of this matter. I hate to do this to all of you who were following this subject so closely... but after thinking long and hard about it, I have decided that the only correct thing to do is to remove the entire thread, other than this final post.

The reasons it took so long to get to this point of resolution:

(1) honestly, I haven't had time, between the ubiquitous RL bedlam, and pretty much ALL my SL time being taken up by the Infirmary growing at such a crazy rate, and

(2) because of my sentimentality. As I detailed in previous posts, I do log every single thing I do in SL (local chat, IM, etc.) and I was able to go back and read through all of Mariposa's and my conversations. Talk about a trip down memory lane... it's been almost a year now, and reading through our history put a smile on my face.

As I read through our dialogue, I remembered all the happy times. How I was able to step in and help her to achieve her dreams, how she was able to put the Brick on the path to success. How I shared her joy when our attendance started to rise. How I felt so happy for her, seeing her exuberance as her dream started to become a reality. I was so happy to just have a small part in making her dream come true... she worked so hard at it, and I just helped where I could... not only giving myself a small sense of accomplishment, but pure joy at assisting in any small way I could so that she could accomplish what she desired.

And the hours we spent, just talking, just hanging out, laughing, enjoying the camaraderie that comes with good friendship. Cherished memories, those... just as I cherish every memory of time spent with any of my good friends. Mari and I had a very close friendship, or so I thought at the time... and looking back at everything we shared, I know that to be true, no matter what's happened in the past year.

I talked earlier about how our friendship turned sour. It's unfortunately not uncommon, as people who work together to build something (particularly in business) inevitably have a harsh parting when one of them decides to go out on their own. Having the luxury of looking back over the past, however, makes me realize that we truly did have a valuable friendship, and I am so sorry that we parted on such unfriendly terms. It may be over now, probably never to be repaired, but that does not diminish its importance and value before our parting.

As such, I don't feel comfortable with my original intent to make all of our dialogue public. It was conversation between good friends. Regardless of our current status, I just don't feel it's anyone's business, and it won't accomplish anything.

So, with this final post in this thread, I shall put my pride aside, as people must do when considering the feelings of others and working in the spirit of friendship, and give my final public thought:

Mari, I know that when we had our parting, you reacted in the only way you could. We both said and did things that in retrospect were inappropriate, but that's what makes us human. Therefore, I wholeheartedly forgive you for anything and everything that has transpired within the past year... for you were simply following your heart, and no one should ever have to defend that.

Perhaps, one day, our paths will cross again. If not, I truly believe it to be a loss for both of us... but regardless, I wish you the best.

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